I never knew when I got used to not having you by my side. But I know it was just recent and in a hard way, i guess, to prepare for the coming longer seperation.
Distance has never been easy for me. The first time we were ever apart was “Myanmar”. Just this one word can remind me about lots of things. Using all our mind and effort to work out your homework, we came over that very fisrt seperation in a whim.
Shortly after I knew I would going to do it one more time, but with greater undurance and complication. Well! to be honest, I did try to run away (at least in my imagination) until I think the problem goes away, no matter if it was solved or not. I had had never faced it before (but you did and it didnt turn out well). Of course, negative thoughts came to me unenvitably, but this time the new part also appeared. I did think of a solution, a way out for us. though still not easy, at least I didnt need to end our love here without trying.
And like the mid-term before final: you went away in two weeks. Well, i took it easy as the fact that I couldnt change anything (and shouldnt interfere your job). I acted and learnt to be normal, back to normal to be exact, without your physical appearance, but with text, skype and call.
This loneliness has been for 4 days. “Things still ok”, i guess, though sometimes i jusy wanna shout out to you that I wish I have never know you so I wouldnt endure it, that I wish you would care for me a little more and making me feel more secure.
Tonight drinking with a friend reminding me how childish i was, back in the 22,23. But you would say “you are still childish” at this moment if you could read my mind.
Im bothering with my growth every time i met my old pal. They all wondered id I actually felt (and knew) true love with “this guy”. well, my love for you had went over this level :) but on the other hand, still wondering abt how we could make it to another one. It would stop when I’m actually mature, dont you think?
What I need now is you, here. So I can stop all this nonsense writing.